finally an update!
hihelloheywhatsup
dear reader,
first, some updates: i’m running a ‘Deep Dive Into Character’ online writing workshop with Arvon - it is a week long, all day course that i will be teaching alongside award-winning seasoned novelist and short story writer and editor Nicholas Royle.
there may be some spots left including subsidised spaces, so check it out or forward to anyone who might be interested.
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i’m also now taking bookings for creative writing workshops starting in February 2024. They will be online and can be adjusted to suit different timezones if you're looking for something one-to-one. Check out the full raft of workshops and book directly via my website: www.maamebluewrites.com/workshops
photo credit: YellowBelly photo
i’m sorry in advance if this ends up in your spam because it’s been THAT long since i wrote anything on here. that’s sincerely my bad, of course. but also, the world. things have been tough lately, haven’t they? and by ‘lately’ i do mean the last 10-15 years that we’ve had a tory government.
i don’t usually get political but i think it will come as no surprise to anyone that i am a person who cares about human rights. i would even go as far to say i care about humans. what a concept - i know.
anyway, aside from the personal battles we’re all facing in one way or another, there is something that feels difficult about living in the world at the moment. it feels like we’re all still in survival mode after the pandemic outbreak - our fight or flight response ready to be triggered by any surprise action or emotional disappointment that is hurled at us. and that doesn’t even speak to the countless people currently being oppressed and having to real-life survive every day under tyranny and violence. so.
i feel on a constant search for joy. joy in creation. in books. in film. hell, even in tv if i can get through the neverending choice of all the streaming services taking my money. and that's a small luxury i don’t take for granted; the ability to jump into a new story at any point, to escape reality into something better.
the same could be said for my teaching creative writing - i have to actively steer myself away from doom and gloom texts i usually love but have low energy for right now, so that my students receive a balance of ideas, and new ways to tackle their writing.
it's growing me as a writer in some ways, and providing me with some much needed distraction in others. it's that time of year, of course, when we're supposed to start winding down the calendar, looking back on our year and asking what we've learned, what we'll do better next year, etc, etc.
but ya girl is tired.
i feel like all i do is reflect and review, especially on the actions of those who've i've allowed to hurt me in the past. and i’m beginning to realise that there isn't much to be gained from constantly questioning the people hurting you when you're only ever met with silence. besides which, you usually already know the answer.
we hurt each other because we're scared. Or angry. Or most times, hurt.
and that's what my last post was about, the conclusions i came to after an emotionally difficult reunion with a parent I haven’t seen in years, that has left me still trying to heal some very old wounds that originated in that place.
it's confirmed to me why i stayed away for so long, cradling my own wellbeing, trying to survive. i cannot go back to that place again. not if i want to keep taking care of the younger me.
that's about the only thing we have control over, how we protect that kid within us who may not have felt that protection before. as the adult in this relationship, i now choose where she goes and doesn't go.
and i also choose joy, even when i can only grasp trickles of it in the day. it's something, i think.
something worth writing about.